We've all heard the jokes about men taking forever in the washroom. You know, the classic "Did you fall in?" or "What are you doing in there, writing a novel?"
Well, maybe they are—just not the kind you'd expect.
In reality, many men use the washroom as a sanctuary, a small haven where they can escape the overwhelming pressures of daily life and the lack of connection at home. And let’s be honest, it's a pretty clever hideout.
As the founder and CEO of F.A.E., a mental health foundation, and host of "The Probably Important Podcast," I've encountered this phenomenon countless times in my work with men. It's fascinating how a simple space can become a fortress of solitude, a place where they can breathe, think, and, most importantly, just be.
As the founder and CEO of a mental health foundation and host of "F.A.E. & The Probably Important Podcast," I've encountered this phenomenon countless times in my work with men.
It's fascinating how a simple space can become a fortress of solitude, a place where they can breathe, think, and, most importantly, just be.
*The Great Escape: Why the Washroom?
First, let’s address the obvious question: why the washroom? It’s the one place where solitude is socially acceptable. If a man disappears into the washroom for a while, no one bats an eye. It's a built-in excuse for a few precious minutes (or more) of peace. Plus, the sound of running water can drown out the chaos of the outside world, making it a perfect setting for some much-needed mental respite.
Overwhelmed and Under-connected
Many men retreat to the washroom not just to escape noise and busyness but because they’re feeling overwhelmed and under- connected. Society often expects men to be the stoic pillars of strength, always composed, always in control. But beneath that calm exterior, there can be a tempest of emotions, stresses, and unspoken needs for connection and understanding.
When home life feels more like a battlefield than a sanctuary, the washroom becomes the fallback option. It’s a place where they can gather their thoughts, process their feelings, and avoid the strain of continuous social interactions. This retreat is not just about seeking silence; it's about seeking solace.
The Secret Fortress of Solitude
Imagine the washroom as a mini bat-cave. It’s a place where men can temporarily escape their responsibilities, reflect on their day, and strategize their next move. Whether it’s scrolling through their phone, reading a book, or simply staring at the tiles, this time alone is invaluable for mental recalibration.
The irony, of course, is that while they’re physically alone, they’re often yearning for connection. The washroom might provide temporary relief, but it doesn’t solve the deeper issue of feeling disconnected and misunderstood.
A Call to Connection
So, how can we help men feel more connected and less inclined to hide out in the washroom? Here are a few suggestions:
1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest conversations about feelings and stress. Create an environment where it’s safe to express vulnerabilities without judgment.
2. Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality time together. Engage in activities that foster connection and understanding.
3. Professional Support: Sometimes, talking to a “Professional Best Friend” (like yours truly!) can provide the support and perspective they need. It’s all about creating a safe space to discuss what’s really going on.
4. Self-Care: Encourage self-care practices that don’t involve hiding in the washroom. Whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or meditation, finding healthy outlets for stress is crucial.
Conclusion: The Humorous Truth
So, the next time your partner disappears into the washroom for a suspiciously long time, instead of rolling your eyes, consider this: they might be fighting an invisible battle, seeking a few moments of peace in a world that demands so much from them. Maybe they’re not writing a novel, but they’re certainly composing their thoughts.
Remember, it’s not just about finding alone time; it’s about finding meaningful connection. And if all else fails, maybe slip a note under the door—something like, “I miss you. Let’s talk when you’re ready.” Who knows? It might just be the key to unlocking that door and the start of a deeper, more fulfilling connection.
About the Author
Mariel is the founder and CEO of Foundation for Artistic Expression, a passionate advocate for mental health, and the host of 'The Probably Important Podcast." With a mission to support men’s mental health, she offers “Professional Best Friend” services, helping men navigate the complexities of life with a touch of humor and a whole lot of heart.
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