Embarrassed?
Don’t be. You are 100% not alone.
When there is disconnect in the relationship, it can lead to fights, frustration, the feelings of being not valued, unappreciated, not respected and more. In the beginning it felt manageable. Afterall, you are a guy and no one has ever told you that you wouldn’t be able to hold an erection if your partner and you were not connected in other areas of your relationship. But as time goes on and the distance and disconnection between you grows, it gets more difficult to be sexually aroused.
Tell me, if you were not in a relationship with her and the way she was acting and speaking was the way it is now, would you be able to get turned on?
So then why are you critizing yourself that you are struggling with it now?
Bodies display how we feel, even if we don’t want them to!
Connection is a huge part of sexual relationships, and even though it is more publicly known as a ‘female’ thing, it is actually equally important to men; especially in their long term relationships.
So, what can you do about it?
It is time to sit down and have an uncomfortable but vital conversation with your
partner about your emotions, what is causing them; and then explain the outcome that is happening because of it all.
In so many cases relationships are lost because at this point it is easier to either not have the conversation and end the relationship, not have the conversation and live in disconnect and loneliness; or not have the conversation and get gratification from outside the relationship (women online or in outside situations from your primary relationship).
Those do something pivotal in your life that doesn’t get seen right away. They lower your own self respect and integrity. Every time you decide to not have that conversation you are not showing up for yourself. You are not standing up for your needs and you are not loving yourself. All that compounds interest into a life that is not authentic.
At the end of the day, you are important and what you need in a relationship is important. When you are able to be brave and communicate that in a respectful way to your partner there are a couple outcomes. First is that they could have their eyes opened and be able to hear and see you; opening their hearts up to taking action with you to create a healthy relationship for both of you; or they could choose to not take action, in which case you now know that the person you are in a relationship with has decided to not hold you as important enough to build a healthy relationship with and that point, you love yourself enough to walk away.
This is a big topic that runs deep into intimacy, respect and care in the relationship. If your dick is telling you something by not getting (or staying erect) due to disconnection; than it’s time to listen.
You are not alone and you are worth being in a relationship with someone who values you, treating you like the king you are.
If you need help sorting out what to say or how to do it; discreetly reach me at: 604.337.7127
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